A Body in the Big Apple

I was in New York the past week visiting family, and became even more aware than usual about the ways it is hard to have a body in a city. Even with the privileges I have as someone who was staying with family, is white and able-bodied, and has financial resources, I struggled to find water or a bathroom when I needed it, a quiet place to take a mental or physical rest, and nutritious food to meet my needs.  

Cities were designed to support industrialization, not to be body-conscious. The questions asked when designing cities were not: how can we create ease and wellbeing for the body? How can we support the body so that it can support us? Instead the questions were surely driven by: how can we make things accessible for able-bodied workers? How can we create efficiency for people to work and shop? 

Last month I spent a week on a silent retreat in Joshua Tree. The container for the retreat was carefully crafted with every body in mind. On so many levels this was an accessible space: financially free to attend, accessible spaces for people of all abilities, a Zoom option for people who couldn’t leave home, dietary needs were considered, and the container itself was a vast desert that supported wildlife. Living in this space for a week, my nervous system relaxed, and my digestive issues nearly resolved. 

The biggest difference I noticed between this small community and the giant city was the way people showed up to support each other. In the desert, we cooked and cleaned for each other, cried and grieved and laughed together, listened and learned together. There was space and consideration for our bodies and needs, and thus we were able to better tend to ourselves and each other. 

In the city, it was easier to deny the needs of my body to make it through the day, leaving me tired and dysregulated. I felt disconnected from myself and others: if someone who needed help walked through the subway, I felt much more resistance to giving my other sandwich half. 

As long as we have to pay money to ensure our basic survival, we will continue to be divided, individually and collectively. As long as we deny the needs of our bodymind, we will struggle to heal our bodies and our planet. 

In the city, I used my yoga practice as an anchor for my bodymind to rest and recharge. Through bodywork, such as massage, movement, or meditation, I invite you to see your body as a home again rather than another system working against you. Bodywork is a chance to practice slowing down and responding to our needs as they arise. Questions to ask while you build this home might be:

*When I have a strong feeling, physically or emotionally, how can I work with it internally? Can I give it more support, nurturance, rest, release, boundaries? 

*Do I have an external space where I feel safe to express my needs? How does my home/school/workplace support my wellbeing? What changes can I make to center my needs?

Perhaps when we learn how to be present with our needs instead of resisting them, we can build the balanced world we all deserve.